im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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