I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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