Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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