was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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