She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
