There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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