I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
