I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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