Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
