Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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