there's paper in my vomit.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
and she was petting her beer can
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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