I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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