Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The feeling are messing with the penis
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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