Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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