he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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