WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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