yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I could make wine with my vomit
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
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My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
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How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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