i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What a fucking waste of an outfit
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
