I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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