ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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