Don't you send me to vm
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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