what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
