also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
