Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
