and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
