this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
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