I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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