I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
