Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
