What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
