Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
