dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize