I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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