peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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