no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
