Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
