And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
