By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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