that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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