See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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