what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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