Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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