Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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