so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
