Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
