Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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