i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
