Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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