you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize