The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I bet he comes in French.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
