Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
