Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
