Whod you bang
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
