It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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