Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just gift wrapped bread.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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