how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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