I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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