This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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